Walking in a relaxed manner!
About 1/2 hour after the ‘hound from hell’ episode my walking became, for the first time, very relaxed, not slower, just more relaxed. For the last couple of days i have been suffering from cramp in my right calf, which no longer seems to be an issue. My walking has become looser, easier and maybe this is easier on my muscles. It took a little while to find the Hospitalero. She needed to let me in as the Albergue was locked. no other pilgrims ahd passed this way today and i would be the only guest this evening. The Albergue is simply furnished and cold but at least it has a fire. I went to the local shop which is actually nothing more than the shelved out living room of a local mans house. He remembered me from my previous camino….amazing!
What he lacks in height ( i guess about 4’6″ ) he more than makes up for in memory and friendliness.
As soon as i got back to the albergue i got the fire going in an attempt to warm the place up. It’s a big space with lots of windows so it was going to be a tough job.
After a shower and something to eat i settled down with a bottle of wine in front of the fire and started thinking about………………Love!
I have floated into a lot of interactoins/relationships from 14 mins – 14 years and every thing in between. I have been a passenger on the ‘love train’ a few times too.
Whenever i have fallen in love i have always thought, this is it, this is the one!
I’m full of love and positive thoughts for the future…..forever!
In fact, so far, i’ve always been wrong!
The passion fades, routine sets in and so too does the rot.
Eventually, there is a parting of ways- never easy, and we are all left wondering, again, what the secret is?
Is there a perfect love? For me? For anyone?
I normally enjoy time alone – especially with a fire, food and wine…….but not this time.
I was alone……….and lonely!
The questions swirled around inside my head.
Am i going about this the wrong way?
Are they going about this the wrong way?
Why is it so hard to find the right person?
Do i have commitment fobia?
Am i simply into new things and people too much to stay with one person?
I was getting a bit melancholy!
Just like Archie on his sword quest i was now on a love quest.
Just like Archie my head was bulging with questions, riddles and clues…….
Well i wanted answers!
I wanted the treasure!
I wanted the perfect love!
So i went inside myself……. and i started digging.
I dug and dug in many places……finally after many hours, i gave up…..exhausted!
I didn’t find my treasure…..
Every hole i dug…….kept filling with tears!
I fell asleep….cold, lonely and confused.
Perhaps i was looking in the wrong place!
Posted from ES
posted Thu Jan 28, 2010